A Change of Heart

Not about Bossyboots! I am dramatic, but not that dramatic.

My fiance and I have been wedding planning for about a year now. In Wedding World, there is a major emphasis on making choices based on how your photos will look. "If you do XX, it'll look great in photos." "Choose XX color, it'll look great in photos." "That just won't photograph well; don't do it."

Mmmmm, ok? :(

Bossyboots works in lighting, I work in media - we care about what things look like. We have educated opinions. However... making choices about an incredibly important day based on what looks good in photos feels no bueno to me. Many of our wedding choices WILL look great in photos, but I don't want to make a wedding choice purely because it'll photograph well. For example, I already tried a makeup look that was geared towards photos, and it made me feel like a cakeface. This look suits me much better.

For a long time, I definitely was in the "do-things-for-photos" camp. Well, (Bossyboots, cover your ears) I was wrong. This is our wedding. We love each other - that's what this is about. When I think about the intention for our wedding, it's not to create a magazine article. We're not having a wedding in order to create a fashion show. We're having a wedding because some things in life are worth celebrating.

This is our Wedding Intention:

• To celebrate the fact that we get to love each other for the rest of our lives.
• To celebrate every person that got us here.
• To create memories that will last a lifetime.

My makeup isn't geared towards photographs. We aren't doing a First Look. We chose flowers that are beautiful and make us feel good. We geared our budget to food that will make our guests happy. We chose a photographer who is a spectacular photojournalist. 

On the flip side... my wedding shoes WILL look pretty fun in photographs. :)

I guess what I'm getting to is... many people tell us brides and grooms to make wedding choices based on the exterior or superficial factors. Bossyboots and I will definitely have a gorgeous set of photos by which to remember our day - but it will be a legit day, not faked in any way. Life isn't a magazine, it's a series of special moments, and I don't want to sacrifice something special so that I could "get THAT photo." 

Are you struggling with making these sorts of decisions? How are you handling it?

My Secret Weapon

So for my birthday this year, Bossyboots gave me an item I've been wanting for several years... A Clarisonic!

 

If you're new to the Clarisonic game, this thingamabob is a turbo cleaner for your face. I realize this may seem like a strange gift, but I've been wanting one of these babies for a few years, but I could never bring myself to buy it. It seemed like such a luxury. 

That being said, I am 33. Not elderly by any means, but my skin has definitely aged since college, when I was made of teflon. I have wrinkles, lines, reptilian scales - you know, all the normal markers for aging. :)

Bossyboots picked out the Mia 2 for me - in PINK - so it's perfect. I have to tell you.... this thing has absolutely lived up to its reputation. Everything you've read about it is true. My skin is in the best condition its been in for years. I use my Clinique mild facial cleanser with it twice a day, and have nothing but great things to say about it. Many people I know use Cetaphil, but Clinique works just fine for me.

After a month of use, I'm sold. This is the best device I've used on my face ever (although I also liked the Neutrogena Sonic Wave, which is much cheaper.) 

Do you have a Clarisonic? What are your best tips to the us sonic-newbies?

That Which Benefits Us All

Awhile back, I decided I would do my own wedding day makeup. I am not a difficult person, but I do have a lot of OPINIONS, especially when it comes to not looking like a fool. I've had my makeup professionally styled a handful of times over my life... and I always hate it. Hate it. 

Sooooo...... I guess I really am a difficult makeup client, but I digress.

Anyway, Wrigley-T (a Snapdragon bridesmaid) also plans to do her own wedding day makeup, so we joined forces and stormed our local Southport Ave. Benefit store. Wrigley-T and I are both perfectly competent at doing our own makeup, but we needed Fancy Makeup.  We made a girlytimes date of it (sans pillow fight.)

I know we're supposed to post some ugly-looking, dire, starving photo of ourselves as a before post, but Wrigley-T and I never look bad. I mean, I looked all through our photos and couldn't find one. ;)

So that's what we look like when left to our own devices getting ready for a night out!

--- And yes, I know the collage above is creepy because it's digitally cut together and it kinda looks like we're taking this photo together but kinda not. The creepy is what makes it funny. ---

The Benefit store is basically candy in a life-sized box. Very pink and girly - so I loved it, of course.

I brought with me a "look" I had seen on the Benefit website: "Eye Gotcha" and I showed it to our new Benefit employee/stylist/friend Lauren.

I told our new friend Lauren what we were up to... "cute but not juvenile" "hot not bridal" "sophisticated but not old" "don't cover up my freckles" "I don't want to spend a million dollars" "good luck sister, I always hate it when other people do my makeup, you've got your work cut out for you"

Needless to say, Lauren was a trooper. :)

New Friend Lauren got started with me, and Wrigley-T and I got to try out fancy new looks...

Throughout our DIY makeup trial, I got to take a peek at what was working and what didn't...

 Surprise, surprise, a miracle occurred because I loved what Lauren did!

Seriously, guys, I have NEVER liked what a makeup stylist has done with my face, so this is a big deal! I was very happy. The picture makes my cheeks look a little washed out, but in person they were just what I wanted. Success!

Now... it was Wrigley-T's turn:

Wrigley makes friends wherever she goes! New Friend Lauren did a great job with Wrigs' makeup trial, too.

Trying not to laugh so that she doesn't lose an eye. A very delicate part of the operation....

Well lawsy mercy, you done got hit with a perty stick!

Both Wrigley and I bought a number of things from our DIY makeup trial, but these three things are my most favorite Benefit items...

• They're Real mascara $22 - I debated between the Benefit BADgal Plum mascara and this black They're Real mascara, but in the end I went with the showstopper. The Plum is fantastic, but I had to choose! It was like Sophie's Choice. Not really. At all whatsoever.
• Posie Tint $29 - Oh goodness so pretty. This stain is the perfect shade of girly pink. As New Friend Lauren taught us, for Wedding Day... we need our makeup to last, and a stain will help keep our cheeks last for the long haul.
• Eye Bright pencil $20 - I love love love this pencil. You wear it around your eye line to brighten up your eyes. It's a light pinky color, so it makes you look like you just took a nap without using a stark white color that's really too harsh. For my everyday look, I use Eye Bright and mascara, even if I wear nothing else [on my face.] I always wear at least wear pants and a coconut bra.

We were super happy with our new fancy looks and are all set to be especially glamorous on Wedding Day. 

And then..... lunch!

What's your favorite makeup product? And don't say you are all natural, all the time - that is a LIE.

Headline: I Enjoyed Pre Cana

Might as well get right to the point!

This weekend, Bossyboots and I had our Pre Cana, which is one of the requirements the Catholic church places on people who are planning to wed. Our day started off in the usual way (of course!)

Our church's Pre Cana is held in the rectory, and when we entered, what did my eyes spy but these...

Do these people not realize that there are a herd of brides starving to fit in their dresses coming to Pre Cana?

Apparently, yes they did. And those donut holes were on. purpose.

I ate the daylights out of those donuts. Actually, the whole day was full of unhealthy food... sodas, donuts, coffee, brisket sandwiches. I actually had a sugar headache by the end of the day, but whatever. Worth it.

We enjoyed Pre Cana. Maybe because we live in a major city, our church is much less conservative than some. I'm not naming the church because I don't want to get them in trouble, but they were very "with it." By this I mean that they didn't act like their classroom full of 30-year-olds were all virgins. They didn't act like birth control is the devil. They treated us like we had brains of our own. Etc and so forth. So I appreciated that. They gave the official church position, but they didn't ignore the way that most people live, or that any of it was wrong. They treated us like adults with our own educated opinions, so that was a big A+ from me.

The day was full of interactive exercises, where we discussed solutions for potential relationship challenges with other engaged couples... finances, children, careers, sex, conflict resolution, kindness, etc.  I found it incredibly helpful.  I also enjoyed our group of people. Everyone was smart, friendly, and took the day seriously while still being fun.  By the end of the day, Bossyboots and I were ready to go home (we were both fighting major colds,) but we got a lot out of the class. Our instructors were really great, and we learned a lot.

The class finished with a final exercise where we each broke off into corners of the rectory and wrote a love letter to our spouse. We left this letter with the rectory staff, and each letter is mailed on our 1-year wedding anniversary. Is this something that happens in every Pre Cana class? I must admit... I teared up while writing mine. Hopefully, Future Bossyboots likes it when he receives his next year!

Did you write a love letter in your Pre Cana class? Or is that unusual?

Blood, Sweat, and Paper Cuts: Invites Revealed

All right, now that Bossyboots' and my wedding invitations are in our guests' hot little hands, it's time do some revealing around here!

Creating these invitations was a heckuvalotta work, but I'm happy with them. Of course, there are endless ways I see that I could have designed them in different ways, but at a certain point, you have to step back and send those dang files to the printer!

Let's get to it... you may recognize a few elements that have evolved out of my original wedding invitation design. I've learned how to use Illustrator since 2009, and I have to say designing in Adobe is much easier than MacGyvering in Word!

The entire suite was bundled in a belly band... this is what our guests saw when they pulled the invitation out of the envelope:

Inside, the suite was made up of four pieces, all double-sided:

• the main invite
• a double-sided map
• an info trifold
• a RSVP card

The entire suite uses a combination of hand-painted and digital fonts. Overall, we were going for a hugely personal set, with a folk art feel.

*Personal info obscured

Our main invite, front and back...

Our double-sided map of Chicago (where we live) and Dallas (where I grew up, and where the wedding will happen!)

The maps are hard to see! Here's a close-up...

For Chicago, I painted all the places that are most important to Bossyboots and I. Every place I painted has a story behind it. Can you spot Bossyboots and I on the marathon course?

I think my favorite part of the Dallas map is the giraffe playing hooky! I'm also happy that you can see my sister and I crossing the finish line of my very first marathon (which we ran together!) My dad and Bossyboots are just behind us.

Since our wedding is quasi-destination, I wanted to include an info sheet that guests could keep in a pocket or purse. The sheet includes parking and travel info, along with suggested activities and restaurants.  This info and more is also on our wedding website, but I think it's important for guests to get a hard copy that they can easily take to the actual wedding, as well! (If they get lost on the way to the wedding, it won't be my fault!)

 The RSVP card is the very last thing that I designed... and to be honest, I think you can tell. C'est la vie! The vegetarian meal option looks so short and sad, but the risotto really is SO GOOD, I promise!!

So there you have it! The Snapdragon invitations. Now, we pray and wait.

Many thanks to Mrs. Cupcake; who fielded about 85 emails from me asking for advice, tips, and cookies at all hours. She's a pro, which is why she can design invitations in about a quarter of the time that it took me!

Are you in the middle of designing your own invitations? Do you need a care package? Group hug, people.

Sparkles for the Win

So, my wedding dress needed a belt - a very sparkly belt. Really, it would be impossible for the belt I wore to be too sparkly. Rhinestones... crystals... beading... I'll take it all! The downside of course, is that sparkly bridal belts retail for between $100-$300 and up. Mmmmm no. I felt certain that I could do this myself and save quite a lot of cash.

So I googled "sequin appliques" and gathered my materials...

Firstly, I laid out all my sparkly appliques upon my satiny sash to figure out how many I needed (measure your waist first and leave room for the bow or fastener!):

Then, I scooted my appliques off the sash, in preparation for sticking them on in a more permanent manner:

I pulled out the fabric glue, and one by one dotted each applique and affixed them to the sash (dotting is important, so the appliques don't become inflexible!)

So on and so forth...

Now, the gluing part went SO fast, like I was done in 15 minutes - but then I realized that gluing alone wouldn't be sturdy enough with all the dancing and falling over I plan to do at my wedding. This meant some stitchin'. I [kinda] carefully stitched around the outline of each applique to be sure those suckers weren't going anywhere they weren't supposed to.

Finally, in great excitement, I rushed into my room to try out my brand new $43 sash. I put on my dress all by myself (NOT EASY,) and I of course had to put my fancy shoes on, too. The moment of truth...

That sash was too dang skinny... I needed a wider sash! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The next day I went to my first dress fitting, where I showed my sash to my incredibly amazing seamstress, and she said "You know... I don't think you need a sash at all." She was right.

Wasted DIY time!!!

Or.... is this a win? I don't have to make a new beaded sash. My amazing seamstress is making the non-beaded sash FOR me. Suddenly, the situation has turned around... 

Did I mention that she's also making my veil because she is 10,000 times better at it than I would be, and it won't cost $300? Another thing that I don't have to fail out in my attempts to save money. Jealous, aren't you! ;)

Anybody make their own beaded sash successfully? Or are you full of fail, like me? Tips and commiseration appreciated.

Registration Station

Bossyboots and I are not shoppers, at least when it comes to leaving our house (unless it's a Target adventure!) We online shop as much as humanly possible. What's to love about brick and mortar shopping? Crowds, parking lots, pushy salespeople, squeaky carts, squeaky kids, squeaky people. No thanks.

So when it came to our wedding registry, you know we did it at 8p on a Tuesday night, in our jammies, with frosty beverages. I call it Shopping a la Couch.  We did make a trip to Crate and Barrel, just to pick out our china in person, but other than that... no real-life shopping excursions! Just thinking about that scanner gives me hives.

Since Bossyboots and I are in our thirties - we really don't need a ton of things. There are certain areas where we are sorely lacking, and so we only registered for the things we really need.  Here are our superstars:

China: Kensington Pearl place settings, avail at Crate and Barrel. I was surprised at how much I loved this pattern. I thought I'd go with something a little more showy, but in person, both Bossyboots and I really loved it. It's classic, beautiful - just perfect. Currently, we use china I scored at Goodwill back in 1997, when I was headed off to college for the first time!!! It's time to let those chipped green and white serving monstrosities go... For anybody in the market for china - I really recommend these; definitely our favorites!

My tip - Register not only for full place settings, but for individual pieces, as well. The full settings can be pricey, but offering single pieces are more affordable and offer an additional option at a lower price point.

Towels - I am OBSESSED with Pottery Barn Classic 820-gram bath towels. They are marshmallows for  your face. Love, love, love. We registered at Pottery Barn just for the towels. When I met Bossyboots, he was using butcher paper as towels. (Not really, but I am still recovering from the scratches!) Seriously, The Worst. I introduced Bossyboots to Pottery Barn towels, and his world was rocked. It's why he fell in love with me.

Servingware: The Bergen and Tinge serving lines at Crate and Barrel completely stole our hearts. They're really attractive pieces that make an impact all on their own. My mother actually already bought the Tinge plates for me at my bridal shower, and I squealed. No more pie on paper plates for me!

Cookware: We already own great cookware, but this is my super frivolous registry item - the Heritage bundt pan. I am easily swayed by The Cuteness.

We're couch registrars, and I'm ok with that. Are you doing a gift registry? What are your favorite items?

Why I Don't Take a Million Photos at Weddings

Bossyboots and I have been invited to ten weddings in twelve months, including our own. That's right - ten in twelve months. Here's the proof!

Wedding #4 - Took no pictures (!)

Wedding #7 - Took no pictures (!)

My blue wedding dress is clearly in heavy rotation, huh?

We've completed seven of the ten weddings, with the next three coming up this spring. Lucky, in that we've gotten to attend a number of really fun weddings, with some of the people we love most. It feels like everyone I know is getting married or having a baby!

In attending all these weddings, I've had a bit of a change of heart when it comes to snapping photos. I usually bring a camera, but I really only use it to get a photo with my friend (if they're the bride/groom) and with Bossyboots. Otherwise, my camera stays mostly packed away, and I often walk out with less than five photos on my memory card.

On the surface, this may seem surprising, but lately I've really been thinking a lot about tech pollution. That's right, I said tech pollution - where people spend an entire evening buried in their phones or various technological devices, instead of experiencing the moment! When it comes to cameras at weddings, we've all seen this:

By Birchtree Photography

I'm a hobbyist photographer and I really love taking photos almost everywhere I go, but when it comes to weddings, I sit back and let the true pro do her job. I feel like the sea of people with cameras really goes against the spirit of a wedding, which is to spend time with your loved ones on one of the most important days of their life. 

I just can't imagine that pro photographers are excited about taking photos of wedding guests who are holding up a phone, camera, or camcorder. I'm sure they'd rather take photos of people actually connecting and living in the moment - not on Facebook. And for me as a guest, I'd rather be present, too, not hunkered down trying to find reception for my mobile upload.

For our Snapdragon wedding, I'm sure there will be abundant cameras, phones, and all manner of tech. That's perfectly fine with me - I am only a control freak when it comes to food and my wedding shoes. Mostly. But for me, I've found I have a much better time at life's important events when I leave my camera [and all her friends] at home. Because I'm really, truly present and accounted for, and I don't miss a thing.

What about you? Are you a reformed wedding-techie? Or are you hardwired to your tech goods?

A Scandalous Affair

First things first...

If you read this post, Bossyboots, I will take back your wedding present!!!

(Peng, please jump HERE)

Apparently, I am having a torrid affair with Kate Spade, because when it came to choosing my wedding day shoes, she was the only woman in the room.  I had spent months upon months trying to find a shoe that worked for me. I wanted something beautiful but wearable, and I needed something that was a silver, grey, violet or petal pink color. I think Zappos might hate me, because I totally abused their free shipping and returns policy..... sorry, fellas!

In the end, I narrowed my selections down to four contenders:

Kate Spade Gambol in grey:

Oh gosh - FEATHERS! And I found them for half off!  I absolutely adored these shoes, and they made my top two cut. These shoes are great for a bride like me - a bit older, a city wedding. Loved these. I had one reservation, but it was a big one... I wasn't sure I could wear these all night. I had hoped the platform would offset the high heel, but it really didn't. These would have been a beautiful choice, but I just couldn't do it. I knew I'd end up chucking these midway through the night. However.... I am still considering purchasing them later for dinner dates where I get to spend most of the evening sitting and showing off my tootsies. If you can work a stiletto all night, I highly recommend this shoe - it's gorgeous.

Kate Spade Celeste in Violet:

These were the least showy of my Top Four shoes, but the photo below really doesn't convey how beautiful they are. In person, this is a great shoe, but they really got blown out of the water by my other choices. 

Kate Spade Charm in Silver:

I call these the Disco Ball shoes! I have been stalking these shoes for at least six months, but they're spendy, so I've been just "visiting." I really thought these would end up being too much show, but in person, they are freaking adorable. The bows on the toes are just the perfect note of feminine and fun - surprisingly, they are incredibly wearable! I thought the thin sole would make them the Kate Spade version of foot torture, but the slingback makes them comfy. Shocker!

Kate Spade Charm in Multi:

Same as above, but in a different color scheme. Funnily, in person these shoes were just not for me. I felt like I was in a Barbie house, and it was just too much going on. These shoes deserve their own laser light show!

As you might guess, I had quite a conundrum before me! Four pairs of fabulous shoes, but there could only be one...

The funny thing is, I really had no intention to actually buy these. I had been "visiting" them for so long, that I felt compelled to meet them in real life. It's like Match.com, when you accidentally wink at the supercute investment banker that loves to read Jeff Eugenides.... and then he actually winks back. I had agonized with my girlfriends over happy hour about my shoe decision, then promptly went home to try on all four pairs. From the moment I put these ladies on, I had a prance in my step (granted, it was a prance where I spend every step hypnotized by my feet.) There was no way they were going back to that cold, dark shoe warehouse - I knew I could give them a loving home where they would sleep on marshmallow fluff and survive on French truffles.  To the other shoes, I said "See ya later, alligator!" They cried.

So that's how I found my wedding shoes. What will you be wearing on your big day??

How to Get Fitted for a Tux in Less Than 15 Minutes

So, one downside to planning from afar... I don't really get to have "wedding adventures" with my family. I send them these awful emails like... "We went bridesmaid dress shopping!" or "I picked out my wedding dress!" or "Hey, I just had a great idea for my invitations!" They don't get to participate due to distance, and so everybody has a sad.

Not so for tux fittings! Bossyboots set his man-attire look just before Christmas, so while I was down with my family, my dad and I thought it be funny if we made an event out of the Pops Snapdragon tux fitting. I had to be his wing-woman and tag along!

Now to remind you - there are 21 kids in my immediate family.  Imagine what that means for Christmas... that's right, stress and more stress. We have NO TIME to do anything but shop for hams and wrap presents.  My dad's tux fitting needed to happen in 15 minutes or less.

Game on.

First, load yourself up with Starbucks. Do not pass Go. And definitely do not pass your local Starbucks.

2. Go to a location with a parking lot. Park right by the door. Again, no thinking, just doing.

3. Bring a clipboard. When your daughter makes fun of you for bringing a clipboard; ignore her, she's a fool. Clipboards are awesome.

4. So that everyone knows how you feel, discard unwanted tux paraphernalia on the desk. You have standards.

5. Have fun! Because that's the whole point. (well, besides making sure you order a tux that fits.)

In and out in 15 minutes.  Success!

What are your best tux fit tips?