Good Medicine
Friday, July 2, 2010 at 7:00AM 
Last week, Bossyboots had a major health scare. There were doctors and emergency rooms and lots of medicine and chocolate shakes. Lots of pain and fun only where we could force it in. Don't worry, he's totally fine now! A good set of antibiotics and sleep fixed him right up... however, the whole experience got me thinking about the times I've been seriously ill myself. I thought this might be a good opportunity to talk about how to help people when they're at their most vulnerable...
1) Don't crowd the person when they fall off a stage, steps, or are otherwise incapacitated.
I used to be a stage manager in Chicago theater. I had been through several emergency first responder courses, and as the lady-n-charge, it was my job to make sure the victim was comfortable and ok until REAL medical help could arrive. When your friend is laying on the ground with a broken leg or some other ailment, it's natural to want to go hug them and make them better, but... this is not always the best course of action. The victim is usually in a lot of pain, maybe they just threw up all over themselves, or they are totally embarassed or scared. Having a huge crowd of people standing around you and staring sucks. So don't do that. Keep the room quiet, and give the victim lots of room. Help the first responder out by encouraging the crowd of well-wishers to stand back and NOT stare. Make sure the proper professionals have been called, and help out by setting up an easy entrance path for the EMTs. Also make sure somebody is standing at the front door to greet the EMTs and usher them to the victim pronto.
2) When someone's sick, it's about them - your feelings don't matter.
Sometimes people have to go in to a doctor to get a scary test or procedure. Often, they want a bud to accompany them! Anything involving probes or scalpels can be terrifying and embarassing, so moral support can be such a huge help. However, much as YOU might be also scared to see that huge probe making its way to your friend... do not - under any circumstances - start crying. Your FRIEND gets to cry - YOU don't get to cry. It's your job to make sure they are as comfortable as humanly possible, and how can you do that if you're crying and making them even more scared than they already are? At all times, it's about your friend - not you. Cry into your pillow at home, but not in front of your friend.
3) Don't blow smoke up your patient-friend's booty, but don't be Ms. Negative either.
The last thing your sick friend wants to hear is how your Aunt Jane went through a horrible infection and died. Again, your job is to support your friend, NOT scare them further. Bring them cookies and chocolate shakes and positivity. You don't need to do any lying or be an annoying Susie Sunshine by any means, but you also really don't need to list off all the family members that "didn't make it" either. Positivity is very important for someone with a serious illness - don't overwhelm them with horrible stories.
4) Go the extra mile.
Bring your friend fun movies, games, cards, whatever - anything to keep their mind off illness. Go grocery shopping for them and make sure they can just rest without worry. They need a break from doctor-time! Being tied to a bed can get super-boring, so do what you can to lift their spirits - and fun surprises will show them that you care, at a time when they might be super depressed and in need of extra lovin'.
For those of you that have also been in scary medical situations, what was the thing that helped YOU the most?
Reader Comments (3)
Great tips! Slightly off topic, this reminds me when my husband ran a triathlon at the ocean and there had been a shark attack 2 miles away just a couple weeks before. They were offering athletes the chance to double their run but Mark had trained so hard for the swim (his weakest point) that he wanted to swim really badly. We went the day before to pick up his race packet and I took one look at the ocean and burst into tears. Needless to say he didn't sleep the entire night. That was really horrible of me to do that!!! So, good call---don't cry when others have to go through something traumatic! At first you could construe it as being sympathetic but no, you're right---you're just scaring the crap out of them!
I hope everything is ok!!!!
I didn't know bossyboots was THAT sick!!! all i ever heard was, "He doesn't feel very well." I hope he is all better now!